Hey fat girl!

Okay so I've put on more than my share of weight these past couple of years and I'm over it. To make things worse, I've been sick for the past week. With what you ask? Who in the heck knows! No symptoms other than being nauseous 24/7. Oh and my belly was HUGE the whole time...like about to hit 3rd trimester huge. Oh and I'M NOT PREGNANT! What the fork already? Finally the 5th day I decided to make myself sick. You know..."gag me with a fork"....or something like that. Some relief had come....thanks to my finger down my throat. Then what followed was a major detox. Finally it looked like I was just a fat kid again and not on my way to the delivery room. Are you getting me here? I still feel funky and I am slowly but surely getting better. So today is the 6th day for this nasty shit to be lingering and at 3am I wake up to chimes on my husbands phone which is downstairs and wont shut up. I'm a super light sleeper. I tell him to get his phone before I kill someone. He does....and faster than I expected. He's pretty slow when waking up. Shortly after...as I am TRYING to get back to sleep, I smell the lovely scent of dog poop! My door is shut....shut I tell you! What did my dog eat?!!!! He never poops in the house but whatever. The smell was horrid and I could feel myself getting ready to puke....and with no help on my part this time. Thankfully I didn't get sick. I go downstairs to discover a massive pile of shit...for a moment I thought I owned a great dane. It's 4am and I had already been in bed for an hour trying to fall back asleep after the alarm wouldn't shut up. Now I find myself cleaning shit up and wanting to murder my dog. Being sick didn't make things any better.....I so badly wanted to wake my husband to clean it but I knew it wasn't going to happen. Hell....he would probably leave it until morning. So finally I am back in bed and trying to go back to sleep....new problem....husband now snores. How does a very thin man pick snoring up at the age of 32? Isn't that for fat kids? Whatever....all I know is at that point I wanted to pop him in the head! I just wanted sleep damn it! I needed to get up in a few hours for work and I had gone to bed at 1am only to be up shortly after...multiple times. Finally I got some sleep but nothing deep enough that I actually feel rested. My sleep is constantly full of dreams which keeps me from ever going into a nice deep sleep. I get up and get ready for work and discover a nice 2nd pile O'poo. Much smaller than the one I cleaned up. Thanks Cash! I left that one for daddy!

That Cosby guy!

So I've been a fan of Bill Cosby pretty much my whole life. I mean who didn't watch The Cosby Show? My father-in-law took the family to see him last night and what a treat it was! The man is 71 and still funny as hell! He has this sense of humor that I appreciate. It's real, clean and genuinely funny. We were 6 rows away from him which was super close. The show lasted about 2 hours. Thanks Bill for all the laughs!

bye bye Valentine

Is it weird that I'm anti-Valentines day? It's one Holiday I can do without. Screw all the mushy flowers and heart shaped boxes of candy. Bleh! I probably feel this way because when I was single...Valentines Day made me want to puke and I'm still feeling it. Did I get anything this year from the hubby? Lunch...pho to be exact. Nothing fancy. No roses- they die so I don't care. No candy- and that's fine because I'm already fat enough. I made chocolate covered strawberries though and they we're beautiful. I worked all day yesterday which was good. We were busy because everyone wanted to look hot for their dates. I ended up spending the evening with my friend Linda and her friend Jessica. Linda cooked dinner and then we went downtown for a very short time. Now I'm at work with a raging headache and I just want to take a nap. I need a dinner date....craving that crack called Pho!

Can't I just enjoy myself?

I know life will never be perfect and 100% worry free...but damn! Life is too short! I feel like it was soooooooooooooo long ago that I smiled so much my face hurt and laughed until I cried. I don't want to get older and become some bitter old lady. Why is everyone always so serious? Why is enjoying yourself frowned upon?(well it is my house) This is why I enjoy the few close friends I have. Because with them....I can laugh, play and truly RELAX. Stress will be the death of me. I handle it well but I can feel it taking a serious toll on my health. To me...the perfect life would be to do what I have to do to pay my bills while enjoying every sweet thing along the way. You have to stop to smell the roses...you just have to. Some ppl dont get that. I do and I will.

This and that

Chau and I attended a "sex toy" party last night and I must admit; I enjoyed myself. Toys don't scare me;-P I was a good girl and didn't drink...actually it was because I was super full from our dinner at DK Sushi. Otherwise I'm sure I would of had a drink or two. I had one appt on the books when I walked into the salon today and before I knew it, I was booked all day! It was awesome!!! Being busy at work is super important to me. I hate being bored at work, plus that usually leads to me snacking and thats a no no right now. I am determined to lose 20 pounds by summer and another 10 soon after. Chau and I are on a mission! I am so dissapointed in myself for letting things get this bad. I have gained way too much and feel completely horrible about myself. UGH! Anyhoo....it's Superbowl Sunday and I'm at my fathers on the computer. I dont care about this Superbowl. It's whateva.

I might just

lose more than 20 pounds. It might end up being 150.

I need a new gay

No really, I do. It's like a gay guy saying he needs a new "hag"....so please, don't be offended. I've lost all my gays; not that I was ever real close to any of them. But I find myself getting jealous over girls that have a close ggf (Gay Guy Friend). I want one for myself dammit! Not the catty drama kind of ggf, but the kind that listens and loves to do fun stuff. Not the gossiping, materialistic ggf....the sweet, loves to dance and watch movies ggf. I've always had more guy friends than girl friends and these days its just the opposite. & the girlfriends I have are too busy, etc. Can I mail order a new gay? That was a joke, oh wait......maybe it wasn't. I have a fun ggf that's in Dallas and he's the perfect ggf.....except for the fact that he's not 21 yet:( That can be a stinker when you want to go out. But he's too far anyways. I'm sad.....lend me your ggf!


PS: if you are easily offended.....keep away from my blog. Thank you- come again!